Day 22 - Tadpole

Roman Forum

So we started our morning with our now daily trip to the market. Then we went to the Internet Point, to use the computers. Then we decided to see the Palatine Hill and Roman Forum ruins again. They are pretty sweet, especially imagining everything they once were. On the way to our afternoon walking tour, I bought a dress and a shirt, both backless. When we got to the meeting place for the tour, we were really happy to see that Tadpole was our guide again. He even recognized us. First we saw the Circus Maximus, where Tad explained the real history of Rome and the history which was made up by the Ancient Romans. The made up history spans a much longer period of time and is not really realistic at all, but it is very interesting and very typical of the Ancient Romans. They only did things that were totally over the top and totally unnecessary. For example, when the most beautiful girl in the town was raped by the prince, she made a passionate speech on a bench in the square about it. The townspeople, wanting to know who did it, became enraged. The girl accused the prince, pulled out her dagger and gutted herself, committing suicide. Brutus pulled out the knife and declared that no more kings would rule, then they went and overthrew the king and his son. Next we went and saw the mouth of truth, which had been dug up and put on display. After it was made famous in the movie ‘Roman Holiday’, people go and stick their hand in its mouth. Which is funny because it actually used to be the old manhole cover for the end of the sewer line. Romans used to called it something which translates roughly to ‘anus’. So tourists are standing in line to get their picture taken with their hand in a giant anus. Then we walked up to the Jewish Ghetto, where all the Jewish people were squished in like sardines, when the Pope made it illegal to be Jewish in Rome. They were eventually set free by an emperor who was trying to stick it to the papacy after he kicked it’s butt in a war and took a bunch of it’s power. Then we saw a temple to the cow god and another to the port god, where the cow market used to be, where the beautiful girl supposedly gutted herself. Next, we saw some ruins where all the stray cats live. They’re there because an emperor wanted to rid Rome of rats, so he imported 10,000 cats from Egypt, or some other large and over the top, totally unnecessary number. Later, when Mussolini was being a dictator, he tried to unite himself with Ancient Rome (because he wanted to make himself emperor). One way he did that was by digging up the Colosseum, the Roman Forum and even here where the cats hang out. And since there were so many, he decided to have a cat census, finding that there were something like 70,000 cats living in Rome. Then, instead of ridding Rome of so many cats he used them to put himself closer to Ancient Rome too. He made them Roman citizens and had them all spayed and neutered to control the population a little bit. Dad, I think, would agree with the method which Tad suggested for getting rid of the cats. He said he would’ve had some beers with friends, then all go out with sacks with weights for the cats and then toss them in the river. Next we made a stop at the Pantheon, which originally was paid for by the Roman emperor who had the most power, Hadrian(the Adriatic Sea was named after him). He had it built with a domed roof with a hole it it. Throughout the day as the sun moved it shone through the hole onto different statues placed around the room. This indicated which god the people were supposed to be worshipping, because this was an all gods temple. But now it’s a Catholic church. And to this day no one knows how Hadrian did it. They have theories, like, some think they filled the building with packed dirt to pour the concrete on top, or maybe... I don’t know. But the dome is one solid piece of concrete, free-standing masonry, meaning, it has no supports. And Hadrian totally had two. He had a prototype, to make sure it worked. This became the roof for the men’s bathhouse in his villa, in what is now Tivoli. This guy built his villa like a small town. He had everything he needed. Then we took a break at Tad’s favourite little cafe near the Pantheon (I ate a Margherita pizza!) and it was pretty delicious! Next we walked down past a monument to Victor Emmanuel II, who is no one of huge importance. But his monument is over the top huge and unnecessary, so in essence, it’s very Italian. The statue of the man is so big, his moustache is over a meter long. Also, as a publicity stunt, Mussolini and 20 men cut a hole inside the statue and had dinner sitting inside Victor II on a horse. Intense... and weird. I bet it’s an awkward place to sit. Then we went near the Colosseum, and Tad told us all about it. Yes, they had naval battles, before they put the floor in. Yes, they fought and killed midgets. Yes, they were very violent. Also, it’s owned by the Catholic church, as everything else seems to be. I’m glad Joan (the only female Pope) stuck it to them. Not only was she a woman, she also had sex too. They didn’t know about either until she squatted on the side of the road and had a baby. This is why the cardinals can go and have a look at the papal junk anytime they want. Weird. The tour now done, I thanked Tad and he gave a weird handshake; hip, fist bump, explode, and said goodbye to the cute Canadians from Edmonton. Then Dom and I headed back to our hostel to shower before heading over to Pasta Rito’s. We weren’t sure if maybe Nicola would show up or not because we invited him by email. He didn’t in the end. We had some white wine, and pasta with salmon in it. It wasn’t as good as last nights but it was still delicious. Then when we were paying our waiter was trying to ask me out. I think, but he was very vague, something about a bar down the street later. So I said maybe, but I didn’t end up going. Dom and I played cards with the 4 girls from France instead. It was pretty fun. We played president, a suit game (which I can’t remember the name of) and signal. Then these 3 guys showed up at midnight. Very attractive guys.